Joy of Life

A quiet courtyard, a quiet person. In the quiet chest, there was a similar pain. Minister Fan looked at his silent son, who had his head bent down, with a trace of tenderness and gentleness. After a moment of silence, he quietly asked, "Putting aside Chen Pingping, I'm just asking you. From the moment you decided to personally step into Ten Family Village, presumably you already knew about the matter many years ago. How are you going to deal with it?"Fan Xian didn't answer. Instead, he asked in response, "When did you realize?""Probably after the Jingdou rebellion," Fan Jian said in an even voice with a calm expression. "Even if I thought of it before, I didn't want to think in that direction. After all, the Emperor is the Emperor, and I am his subject.""I have been thinking in this direction for a long time," Fan Xian said bitterly. "At that time, I had already guessed my past, but I didn't have a shred of affection for the Emperor. Thinking in that direction, I could accept it emotionally. But…"He took a great sigh and said in a slightly scratchy voice, "Later, the Emperor was nicer and nicer to me. I was more and more unwilling to think in that direction. Although, I clearly knew, from a long time ago, that, other than him, no one would be able to remove Ye Qingmei from this world.""I didn't want to delve in that direction." Fan Xian's brows were furrowed tightly. "I felt confused for the first time. I had told you that I would not allow anyone to control me and that my determination was powerful enough that I would never be disturbed by external forces. In this matter, I was truly confused."He raised his head and glanced at his father helplessly. He then asked for advice, "If you were in my position, what would you do?"Fan Xian had actually thought about it this problem on the banks of Liujing River and by the large graves. His father should have the authority to speak on this subject. His words should have their own strengths. That was why Fan Xian had come to Ten Family village, come to the Fish Guts of the Qing Kingdom, to calmly listen to his father's advice.Fan Jian was silent for a long time. He then then looked at him and asked, "You have to ask yourself, how exactly do you regard the Emperor?""That depends on how he regards me," Fan Xian replied quickly, presumably he had asked himself this countless times in countless nights."And, how does he regard you?" Fan Jian smiled gently. "You don't have to worry about what I think. After all, I grew up with him. Although I feel disappointment and resentment toward him, speaking truthfully, I cannot summon much hatred for him."Fan Xian smiled helplessly and sank deep into thought. He had thought a great deal about this matter. Before the Jingdou rebellion, the Emperor probably felt three parts remorse, three parts high regard, and four parts exploitation. After so many people died in the Palace, the Emperor's temperament had changed a great deal.
When he had entered the capital in the spring of the fourth year of the Qing calendar, Fan Xian had to admit that perhaps the Emperor was a harsh and merciless man. But, there was a difference in how he treated him. Even when he was made use of, it was to an acceptable level. If the Emperor still had an iota of affection of the people of this world, then that one iota had landed on Fan Xian's head.The Emperor treated Fan Xian better than he treated the Crown Prince and Second Prince. And, it goes without saying, better than the poor woman who had sacrificed her youth and reputation for him.Calmly listening to Fan Xian's words, Fan Jian gently stroked his beard and said with a sigh, "Territory changes easily, but one's nature is difficult to change. The Emperor's nature has become much gentler. In the end, he is a ruler who thinks of the world as his own. We come back to the same words. If how you regard the Emperor depends on how he regards you, but is it not also how the Emperor regards you depends on how you regard him?"He looked at his young son and said with some worry, "The Emperor treats you differently to everyone else because ever since you entered the capital, you have shown him unswerving loyalty. This is also something I admire about you. Despite your young age, you understand how to hide the things you have guessed and the conflicts in your heart to the point that you have even fooled the Emperor… Once the Emperor suspects that you are not just an official, once he truly begins to doubt your loyalty, there will be a fundamental change in his att.i.tude toward you.""Rulers are heartless," Fan Jian reminded him. "Especially since you have so much power in your hands as to be a faint threat to the stability of the Qing Kingdom's throne. If he finds that you have other thoughts, he will certainly use the absolute power in your hands to kill you."Fan Xian was silent. He knew what his father said was right. The biggest problem with his plans was that he has still not made up his mind. Regardless of whether he was getting revenge for Ye Qingmei or trying to wipe away what happened in the past and be an honest, fearful, and powerful official by the side of the throne, he had to make up his mind. His uncertainty and hesitation to choose truly appeared wretched."This is a difficult problem for anyone to resolve," he said with a bitter smile. He thought that in his previous life, he would probably only find such a dramatic clash and internal conflict in a Shakespeare play. How could he have expected that the drama of the father killing the mother and the son being caught in the middle would actually play out on him?Fan Jian calmly watched him with a strange gaze. He said, a moment later, "Actually, after Chen Pingping confirmed the matter and I guessed it, he and I considered your problem. We truly did not think that this was a difficult problem to resolve."Fan Xian did not quite understand these words.Fan Jian looked at him. His eyes grew gentler and gentler. He sighed and said, "An Zhi, you are truly a unique individual. Since you had never seen your mother and grew up under the Emperor's care, and the Emperor treated you so well, I had thought that you wouldn't have any deep affection for Xiao Ye. Considering the affection the Emperor has shown to you, even if you knew of the tragic matter, you would probably be unable to summon any hatred toward the Emperor on behalf of your mother."Fan Jian couldn't help but shake his head and said, "Sometimes, I really cannot understand you."Fan Xian had never seen Ye Qingmei and had not grown up healthily under her care. And, the Emperor had been very good to him."The hatred for matricide makes for irreconcilable enemies?" Fan Xian asked quietly in a self-mocking tone. "Of course, you know I did not make a decision because of that reason."It was because the aura of Ye Qingmei in this world felt so familiar, close, and intimate to Fan Xian. Perhaps it had nothing to do with their relationship as mother and son. It was just that two similar souls had suddenly come close in this expansive, lively, and strange world.For Fan Xian, Ye Qingmei was a precedent, another him who had come and left."It's not fair."Fan Xian looked at his father. For some reason, his heart twisted with pain. In an indescribable tone, he quietly said, "If it ends like this, it's too unfair to her."Minister Fan was silent for a long time. He then said, "It is indeed unfair."……Perhaps it was the word "unfair" that made the old cripple in the Overwatch Council endure silently for 20 years. He planned for 20 years, carefully following the situation of the world and the court, and spent countless amount of energy in pushing all of the Emperor's people, one by one, to stand against him.As they said, Pingping pursued the dogs under heaven. In the end, the old cripple finally succeeded. Everything that happened during the seventh year of the Qing Kingdom had been the exploding point he had been calculating and waiting for a long time. At the time, the Qing Emperor was faced with the greatest danger of his life, the storm on Dong Mountain.However, the Emperor had come down alive from Dong Mountain. The justice Chen Pingping sought became flowers in a mirror and shadows in water. He would never have a second chance."I need to settle Chen Pingping first." Fan Xian had already shaken off his emotions from earlier. Looking at his father, he quietly said, "Of your old comrades, some are dead, some rebelled, and some are still struggling. The Director and you are not the same. He has never been satisfied, which is why he had been forcing himself to stay in Jingdou these two years.""Since you've already taken the position of Director, it seems the Emperor still wants to leave a way out for us old folk," Fan Jian said with a warm smile. "As long as nothing changes, the Emperor should let that old dog leave the capital. You shouldn't worry."A faint worry rose in Fan Xian's heart, He didn't know where it came from. He only felt that matters would not go so smoothly. In his original plan, after Chen Pingping and his father both left Jingdou, he would stay to contend with the Emperor. Using the Dongyi matter, he would slow the Emperor for two years. Hearing the words now and looking at the situation, it could still be considered a dependable course of action.Looking at the worry between Fan Xian's brows, Minister Fan furrowed his brows and asked, "What news is there from Jingdou?""It's still the same as the past year. The Imperial Censorate checks the Overwatch Council. He Zongwei is very well-regarded right now." Fan Xian shook his head. "Other than Sun Jingxiu's matter, there hasn't been anything major."Minister Fan's expression was slightly confused. He asked for a recount of the Jingdou government matter that happened a while ago. After a long silence, he suddenly said, "That matter is strange."Fan Xian looked at his father with confusion, unsure what made him say that. The internal conflict within officialdom in Jingdou was on a different level to the matter the father and son had been talking about earlier. Yet, his father took the matter seriously."From the Imperial Censorate to the Hall of Governmental Affairs to you taking control of the Overwatch Council," Fan Jian said coldly, "these are things that we have discussed. The Emperor is making arrangements for the Qing Kingdom of the future. Presently, Dongyi is still in negotiation. There has been no preparation for a Northern expedition. It is clear the Emperor had rushed too much this time.""He wants to support He Zongwei to contend against you, causing these problems…" Fan Jian shook his head. "Too rushed, too rushed."Fan Xian understood what his father was saying and also sank into thought. It was indeed the truth, The Emperor seemed to be hurriedly making arrangements for the future of the Qing Kingdom and the court. His speed was overly rushed.A gust of wind came in from the improperly closed gla.s.s window and brought with it a chill. The light in the study suddenly flickered wildly, making the expressions of their faces appear to fluctuate.After an oppressive silence, Fan Xian lowered his voice and said, "Perhaps there is a problem with the Emperor's body?"Fan Jian thought for a long time and then shook his head. "You have more people in the palace than me, maybe even more than Chen Pingping. If you haven't heard anything, it can't be confirmed.""If something is wrong with the Emperor's body, he would certainly hide it," Fan Xian said with a heavy expression."If he's ill, he needs to have the Imperial Academy of Medicine treat it," Fan Jian said. "As long as there is a record in the Imperial Academy of medicine, presumably you would be able to see it.""There isn't." Fan Xian shook his head, "I've been paying particular attention to this, but there hasn't been wind of anything from the Palace.""If there is something wrong with the Emperor's body but he did not summon imperial doctors to see to it, then there is only one reason." Fan Jian sat straight. "The Emperor knows exactly what is wrong, and it is impossible to be treated by the imperial doctors."Fan Xian's heart shook. He unconsciously said, "Are there problems with the Tyrannical zhenqi after it's been cultivated into the Way of the Emperor Realm?"Fan Jian shook his head with a smile. "In the Great Grandmaster's realm, it is impossible for common poisons to enter the heart meridian. What could be the problem? Ah, never mind. These are just our wild and irrational guesses. You cannot treat this as if it's a real matter."Fan Xian also smiled and said, "That is true. However, I am interested in how the Emperor stepped over that gateway and the Way of the Emperor's scroll. It is a pity that the Emperor always said that the method was not something I could use, so I never made any headway.""Where are you going afterward?" Fan Jian suddenly asked."To Dongyi." Fan Xian was unsure why his father had suddenly asked this."I can offer no opinions on the Unnamed Martial Secret. As to whether the Emperor has developed some problems through cultivation, since you are going to Dongyi, there is someone you could ask." Fan Jian looked calmly at him. "Sigu Jian is going to die soon. If you could improve before he died, it would be good for your own protection."Fan Xian laughed bitterly, any further improvement was difficult. Although Sigu Jian had already given everything he had to teach in Dongyi, what about it? However, he also knew his father was right. When it came to the secret of the Unnamed Martial Art and how the Emperor was able to break through the Tyrannical scroll's final limitation of the human body, Sigu Jian was, without question, the last teacher."I hope Sigu Jian will give me a relatively good answer," Fan Xian finally said.